Modern Reject

Later this month, if all goes according to plan (fingers crossed), I will be traveling to Chicago to attend the Story Conference. The premise of the conference is that  “Often, the Greatest Story ever told can be the hardest to tell.” They are referring to the Gospel. The Story Conference brings together creative minds from all arenas, including authors, producers, musicians, and artists to encourage and facilitate unique ways of communicating the Gospel message.

The theme for this year is “Communicating the Unseen.” They state that “as ministers we are storytellers of the unseen. An unseen God, an invisible Kingdom, and a hidden underworld.”

This notion of telling the Gospel in fresh and creative ways has got me thinking. We have all heard the “Jesus died on a cross and rose on the third day” script. There is absolutely power in that, of course. It is still the Gospel. However, combating the current culture of high-speed this and interactive that presents new challenges in the way we relate the story of Christ.

Christians too seem to have a bad rep for being, well, somewhat uncreative. If anything, we should be presenting the greatest story ever told in the most innovative and inspired ways. We serve the Creator of the universe after all. Yeah, Google is awesome, but they are no “Creator of the Universe.”

I have tried to think back to some Gospel presentations I have seen that I found unique and original. I saw a friend once use a McDonald’s cup, lid,and straw to literally build a “bridge” explaining how Christ bridged the gap for us. I have seen churches do some pretty interesting things with videos and technology in general.

However, I am hoping to see some powerful ideas at the Story Conference and be able to come back and share those with you. What, though, would you say, are the most creative, ingenious, and effective ways you have seen/heard of the Gospel being presented? Where do you think the Internet and technology, in general, will take the Gospel?

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Last year a girl by the name of Natalie Dylan decided to auction her virginity off to the highest bidder. She was met with a slew of both support and hatred. Recently in the United Kingdom, a 16-year-old just attempted the same transaction, in order to pay for school.

Madonna sang about being “like a virgin” as if she knew something we didn’t: a way to recapture that first time. Virgin women are prized and yet exploited as men try to conquer them. Simultaneously, they are called prudes or worse. Virgin men on the other hand are shamed and embarrassed by their peers.

There used to be a time when being a virgin meant something. There was a time when a woman’s chaste and pure nature was desirable, not only to men, but to the woman herself. There was also a time when men abstained from sex as well, choosing to wait until their wedding night.

How did we transition from the ideal of sexual purity to a poor girl, obviously broken, selling her body on eBay, giving away what should be cherished and protected for some cash? I want to know though, where have all the virgins gone? And if they are around why aren’t they speaking up?

The concept of virginity is most often associated with a woman. It is through a woman’s lack of sexual experience that she gains honor and privilege in some cultures. Religious and social norms have also helped guard the virgin maiden as an ideal. Many of us think of the Virgin Mary, for instance, cloaked in innocence and purity.

In America, and much of the west however, the notion of virginity has become a mockery. Young women will tease and even harass other women who have chosen to abstain from sex. Young men are even worse, embarrassing and shaming any man who has not sown his sexual oats. Often times, virgins in American culture have chosen to stay silent on the topic, never openly discussing their choice to pursue sexual purity for fear of ridicule.

 American culture has become more and more sexually charged, from the T.V. and movies we watch, to the actors and musicians we idolize, to the clothes we wear (or don’t wear, like bras for example. Seriously girls, put on a bra). As young people have become more desensitized to sex, they have of course let go of the feeling that virginity and sexual purity is something to obtain.

The media and our culture tells us that being a virgin is uncool and lame. People who are virgins just can’t “get any.” Never mind the fact that many of them have chosen to not “get any.” In the face of virgins becoming less desirable (especially for men) there are shows like Gossip Girl telling young women to give it up and fast and then do it a lot more.

Christians on the other hand throw around the words “sexual purity” often and assume that young people have a real grasp on this concept. Young Christians in high school and college sometimes think that purity means doing everything but. In the end, that leads to sexual immorality and many losing their virginity in the process.

Virgins were once seen as ideal and are now seen as old-fashioned. I was a product of this thinking. I lost my virginity very young. Many factors contributed to my decision including the fact that sexual purity was never discussed in my home and certainly never protected.

Those practicing sexual purity are a silent minority, it seems. My hope however, is that those remaining abstinent would begin to speak up boldly and loudly on behalf of waiting. As someone who did not wait, I can testify to the need and purpose behind the Lord’s design of waiting until marriage.

Sexual Purity has many advantages, including spiritually, physically, and socially.(I will be discussing some of those advantages next Tuesday in Part 2 of Like a Virgin.) The world wants to tell young people that sexual freedom is liberating but God says “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18.

May the voice of the sexually pure rise up against the clamoring voice of the over sexualized. May the Church lead the way is retelling the story as to why and how remaining pure is crucial and achievable. And may virgins everywhere begin to proclaim their decision yelling “You can wait and God will help you.” May there be a virgin revolution. I’ll make the t-shirts, reminiscent of a superheroes costume… with a big “V” on the front, to let everyone know that there is real power in waiting.

Why do you think the concept of virginity has become so tarnished? What were you told as a young person about sexual purity? How can believers best promote sexual purity?

Hi Modern Rejects. I hope you all had a splendid Labor Day weekend with family and friends. I ate lots of BBQ and did some serious chick-shopping. I feel fulfilled. I just wanted to drop a line and say hi…and tell you to be sure to check back tomorrow for He Said/She Said Wednesdays. I will be discussing virginity. That’s right, being a virgin, staying a virgin, and all things virgin related. Did you ever hear about the girl who auctioned off her virginity? Well come back tomorrow to read more. Until then…

xo

Modern Reject

Last Monday I shared with you the Top 10 Ways to Not be a Jerk, featuring some insights from the study I am currently doing called Seeking Him. Today, following suit, I thought I’d share some ideas on how to stop being a liar, liar pants on fire.

Honesty is always listed as a requirement in all relationships. Ask a person what is the most important quality in a dating relationship or marriage, the answer is almost always honesty (or communication).

We all know the real liars. The compulsive liars. The habitual liars. The people who lie because they cannot help themselves. But we are not those kind of liars. Not you and me. We are perhaps, maybe, only sometimes, occasional liars. And they aren’t even real lies we tell. They are just little white lies. You know, like when someone asks you how your day is going and you say, “Fine.” When in fact your day has been anything but fine. You got in a fight with your spouse, or yelled at someone, or cussed at a guy on the freeway, or just spent the last 30 minutes locked in a bathroom stall crying into a wad of toilet paper….that kind of little white lie.

But beyond that, how else do we deceive ourselves and others? What are the other ways we lie?

Forget just the level of honesty we have with one another. How about us being honest with ourselves? Hypocrisy is a chronic problem within the church and very often stems from individuals saying one thing and doing another.

And the big one for me: Our honesty with the Lord? Is my heart desire and motivation honest before God Himself? Ooh..this one got me. I was convicted. Here is a list of questions from Seeking Him, evaluating our level of honesty before others, ourselves, and God:

Honesty with Others

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor; for we are members of one another. Ephesians 4:25

Do you sometimes seek to create a better impression of yourself than is honestly true?

Do you often leave others with the impression that you are more spiritually mature and committed than is actually true?

Are you guilty of speaking graciously to others while harboring hatred or bitterness in your heart towards them?

Honesty with Yourself

If anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Galatians 6:3

Are there truth’s in God’s Word that you know in your head or that you “preach” to others but are not practicing in your life?

Do you ignore, resist, or deny the conviction of God’s Spirit or His Word in relation to your sin?

Do you think more highly of yourself than what God knows you to be? Do you have an inflated view of your gifts and your value to God and others?

Honesty with God

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts Psalm 51:6

Do you participate in corporate worship or prayer while your heart is cold, indifferent, or resistant to the Lord?

Do you honor God with your lips when your mind and heart are far away? What are you really thinking about when you pray?

Do you volunteer for service and good works to glorify God (Matthew 5:16), or to impress others?

Are you quick to agree with God when His Spirit convicts you of a sin, or do you tend to rationalize, justify, and defend yourself?

I have personally struggled with each of these areas at one point or another. However, the honesty with God questions convicted me greatly. I never before  considered the fact that my indifference or resistance to God, at times, is actually dishonesty towards Him. I cannot worship Him on a Sunday and sing the usual songs while my heart is hardened or far from Him. However, I have done this plenty of times. I have “acted” as if everything is fine before the Lord (or just simply ignored the issue) and praised God with my lips, knowing good and well my heart was far removed.

This was an eye-opening revelation to me. It is the misalignment of our actions versus our heart that can cause dishonesty before God. While I know the Lord has forgiven me in the past for my resistant spirit and fraudulent praise, I do not wish to repeat such offenses. I want to be transparent before my God and share every hurt and every pang. I never want to pretend like my heart isn’t breaking when Christ alone is the one who can mend it. I desire honesty in all areas of my life, especially with my heavenly Father, who sees my heart. Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.Proverbs 19:21

Which, if any, of the honesty questions was convicting or stirring to you? Do you struggle in one area of honesty more than another (i.e. with others, with yourself, or with God)? How has the Lord grown you in the area of honesty?

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This week I have begun to realize just how big my kids are getting. Granted they are only 2 and almost 4 but they are no longer the babies I once held.

I am by no means an overly sentimental type mom. I didn’t cry when they took their first steps or go camera crazy when they rode a tricycle for the first time. Lately, however, I have been feeling nostalgic for the time when they could fit on my lap or in my arms. Maybe it is the fact that I just turned 30. Maybe it is that my little girl turns 4 this month. How did this happen? I was expecting to have so much time. Where did it all go?

I have been looking over my kids toys and baby clothes, first books, and pages colored in Sunday school. I wish they could stay little forever but instead I’ll just have to share some of my Favorite (Kid) Things with you instead…

I love the things kid’s say and the things they do. I love the things they collect and the things they eat. This list is a hodge podge of many of those things.

Children’s books- So many of my childhood memories are tied to certain books. Books are imagination engines for children. They stir up htier minds and their hearts. Thankfully many of my favorite children’s books have become my kids as well: Madeline, Harold and the Purple Crayon, Corduroy, Where the Wild Things Are, and Goodnight Moon. There are many great resources for classic children’s book lists online. If you are looking for a few unique and creative recommendations however, try this. It is a list of celebrity chosen children’s books from one of my favorite sites called Goop (Gwenyth Paltrow’s project).

Old-fashioned toys- I adore wooden, handmade, retro feeling toys. They are thankfully becoming more and more popular. It is crazy to think about the fact that children 50 years ago didn’t have things like Zhu Zhu Pets or Buzz Lightyear laser guns. Let alone having things like X-boxes or Wii’s. Old style toys spur on greater imagination and less reliance on being “entertained.”

Decorating yourself- My kids love to play dress up. From hats, to scarves, jewelry (yes, unfortunately even my son) to boots and heels. They also love putting anything on their bodies that involves paint, markers, or stamps. But temporary tattoos…oh those are the creme de la creme. They love them! They stay on for days and look so cool. These super cool and clever hand tattoos from Uncommon Goods are callin’ my name.

Eating and snacking and more snacking- Kids are picky eaters, usually. Not all but some. Mine fall somewhere in the middle. They like what they like. Making funny food though is the best. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ll do almost anything to trick my kids into eating. Why not when you can make adorable snacks like this one? Yum.

Playing and the dream room to go with it- someday I hope to build an over-the-top playroom for my kids. By the time i am bale, they may be too big to play. In which case, I will hold out for grandchildren. I love the idea of kids having their own place to explore, climb, hide, read, imagine, pretend, scream, and dream.

Gosh, there is SO much more I could add to this list. Instead, I want you to add to it.

What are some of your favorite childhood items from long ago or right now? What could you not live without when you were a kid? What do your kids love currently?

Starbucks Meets the Church: A Parable

I linked this video yesterday on Twitter, so sorry if you already saw it. (Side note, if you haven’t already please follow me on Twitter here. All the cool kids are doing it and I’m super fun to follow.)

The premise of the video is what if Starbucks marketed themselves the same way churches do?

What if every new Starbucks customer had to raise their hands in line and receive a welcome gift? What if they had to fill out an information sheet? And all the while the new customer keeps saying “I just want some coffee?” (also, there is one line in the video that had me laughing out loud…got any idea what it was?)

Often, I see many churches so focused on numbers, attendance, and programs that they miss the people walking into the church doors for the first time. Of course many churches do not operate this way. They are truly focused on meeting the needs of the body but in turn offering a Christ-filled welcome environment for those who are new (or returning) to church.

How do those churches, in your experience, do a better job of allowing church to feel like a safe place where the Gospel is preached? What, in your opinion, separates those churches from the pack?

Please leave comments with your reactions to the video. Do you see churches today failing to capture people with simplicity of the Gospel and the power of the Spirit? Are churches today guilty of bad church marketing? What could they do differently?

Last Wednesday on He Said/She Said I posed the question: What makes a man worthy of marriage? A lot of you weighed in on the subject, mostly men in fact. I determined that in order for a man to be worthy, he has to actually be a man. Then I listed three qualities that I think make a man a man, man (I love those Old Spice commercials, sorry).  This week the question goes out to all the ladies:

What makes a woman worthy of marriage? Is it her good looks? Oh, I sure hope not. Is it her mothering skills? The way she cooks, cleans, or says “Yes, honey”? If so then I am in trouble.

I was mulling over this question. It seemed so much harder for me to answer. I was talking over the topic with my husband and he said this:

Just like men need to be men in order to be worthy of marriage women need to not be men, to be worthy of marriage.

Huh? “Yes, that’s right,” I thought. Women need to stop trying to be men if they are to be worthy of marriage. Here’s why: The “F” word.

That’s right, I’m talking about feminism. The brand of feminism that the world has sold women is an empty promise, where women believe that liberation comes from needing no one (especially a man). I found this quote earlier this week by G.K. Chesterton which sums it up so beautifully:

[Feminism] is mixed up with a muddled idea that women are free when they serve their employers but slaves when they help their husbands.”

The woman’s liberation movement has convinced many women that being a wife is a less than desirable goal and should in fact be avoided. The lie they have exchanged marriage with, is as Chesterton points out, a career. The result is women trying to act like men, perform like men, compete with men and be men.

Before anyone gets in a tizzy let me explain too that being a worthy wife does not somehow mean you cannot have a successful career. I am in no way suggesting that women stay home fanning their husbands whilst feeding them grapes. What I am saying however, is that a woman must acknowledge her God-given role as a woman both at home and at work.

So what causes so many women to substitute the role they were born to play with something less than? I think in part it is a trust issue. Many women do not trust their husbands to be men so they attempt to control and manipulate their marriages. They try to wear the pants, so to speak. Some of that mistrust is manifested towards God because in trying to “be the man” women are not trusting that God can help their husband to be that man instead.

And ladies we know what our role really looks like. I know many of us are tired of hearing about and reading about the Proverbs 31 woman. She seems annoyingly perfect and impossibly holy. The truth though is that God gave her to us as a model and not one we are expected to achieve in a year or a season but over a lifetime.

We are told in verse 23 that “Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.” In order for a man to be well-respected, his respect must start at home with his wife. A respectful wife comes out of a woman joyfully receiving her role as wife and allowing her husband to receive his role as a man, also.

The Proverbs 31 woman was an entrepreneur, a savvy business lady, “clothed with dignity and strength”, well-dressed and well-liked. Sounds like my kind of girl. More than anything though, I think she was content and felt empowered to be a woman. She did not sit around trying to think of a way to compete with men, control her husband, or compare herself to anyone else. She was a woman through and through, worthy of not only marriage but praise as well.

Do you agree or disagree with what makes a woman worthy of marriage? What do you think are necessary characteristics for a wife? How have you seen the “F” word warp the role of women?

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